CVV Ministries

ShareFor the first 14 years of our marriage, I thought I was the best Christian wife ever and that my husband was just unloving and needed to change. Turns out, I hurt my husband in many ways and didn't even realize it. (Video about that here https://youtu.be/XWPyT9avOls) How did I not see my disrespect and the hurtful things I did to him? Here are the 11 reasons. 1. I didn't have any teaching, books, or classes about what respect meant. I understood some things about it. I was avoiding the extremely disrespectful things (violence, cursing, name calling, threatening divorce, etc...), so I thought I was being respectful. 2. No one addressed my wrong attitude. I assumed if I were doing something hurtful that someone would tell me about it in my family, at church, among my friends, or somewhere. I especially assumed that Greg, my husband, would tell me if I hurt him because I told him the second he hurt me. He never did. I wish he had! 3. I wasn't as bad as a lot of the women around me. And I wasn't anywhere near as disrespectful as some women on TV. 4. I didn't have any godly mentoring wife in my life to give me feedback or teach me what it meant to be a godly wife. 5. I had my parents' Christian marriage and my mom was respectful of my dad, but we had totally opposite personalities and marriage dynamics so I didn't relate their marriage much to mine. 6. My pride went unchallenged for decades. Pride is very blinding. 7. Greg didn't look or act hurt by me. He seemed stoic. I eventually thought he really didn't have feelings and that nothing I could say or do could hurt him. 8. I point blank asked Greg many times what he needed and what I could do better over the years. He always responded with silence. 9. I had been marinating in a radical feminist culture all my life and had inadvertently absorbed a lot of terrible messages about men and women like: Men are idiots. If there is a problem in the relationship, it's automatically the guy's fault. Women are practically perfect and nearly goddesses. Men's faults are much worse than women's faults are. Men are like children. Women have so much more wisdom than men do. I would never have said these things out loud. But I had received these messages loud and clear, never really stopping to think where they came from or if they were true. 10. I had no idea how differently men see the world from women and how different their masculine perspective is. I also had no clue how different their needs can be in marriage. I didn't know that for most men, feeling respected and admired can be more important to them than feeling loved, for example. I assumed he needed and wanted exactly what I needed and wanted. Love, lots of attention, long emails, hours of sharing feelings/words, face to face time, emotional bonding, affection, etc... But those things weren't what he needed and wanted most. I didn't know that most men bond through shoulder to shoulder activities without words. And that he tried to show me love through acts of service, many times, that I didn't even recognize as his way of loving me in those earlier years. 11. I didn't understand my husband's introverted personality and unique strengths/weaknesses. I assumed he would think and process things exactly like I did and when he didn't, I couldn't understand why he was doing what he was doing. So I made a lot of wrong assumptions. For example, I made decisions very quickly. He didn't. And when he couldn't come up with an answer immediately, I thought he was purposely keeping his thoughts from me. I didn't know he needed a lot more time to think and process before he could answer. Want Salvation? Click Here! https://peacefulwife.com/how to have a relationship with christ/ Watch or share "The Jesus Film" (Available in over 1800 languages): https://www.jesusfilm.org/watch.html How Can I Have Assurance of My Salvation? by www.gotquestions.org https://www.gotquestions.org/assurance salvation.html Lordship Salvation https://www.gotquestions.org/lordship salvation.html Billy Graham: Have You Heard the Good News of Salvation? https://billygraham.org/story/have you heard the good news of salvation/

Fonte: April Cassidy

CVV Ministries

Why Did I Not See What I Was Doing Wrong As a Wife?

Sun Mar 28 14:53:11 2021 - 33

April Cassidy

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